Beauty and the Best

Bob Fingerman's "Minimum Wage" - Mini Review

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While I was out looking at comics today, the cover of Minimum Wage caught my eye (no surprises there, right?) This serial is about Rob Hoffman, an illustrator who is still living at his mom’s place. “Minimum Wage” chronicles Rob’s adventures with his twenty something friends. As of the first issue, he is on the verge of signing divorce papers and is newly single, exploring the online dating market. By the end of issue #1, he’s met May, a super curvy free spirit with body issues (the girl on the cover above). May is also living close to the margins, as illustrated in a funny scene with her landlady.

What struck me as interesting about Rob and May’s relationship is how easily he is able to score with this voluptuous vixen. The first time they make out, she insists on keeping the lights off. Later we learn it’s because she doesn’t feel good about her figure. Now, contrast this to a similarly built woman in the black community. By date number two she’d be taking Rob through the ninth circle of hell, rather than putting out. There would be no confidence issues. Anyway, the story with May is a nice little entree in my sparse oeuvre of curvy girl lit, along with Clowes and Crumb.

“Minimum Wage” features great artwork and surprisingly funny slice-of-life stories about Rob and his crew. His online dating travails are a highlight.

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Top Ten Sexiest Women in the Marvel Universe

Okay, I know that a lot of you tech savvy geeks like me have seen a whole bunch of "Top Ten" lists for various things. Seeing so many, I think we can all agree on two things: 1) Many of them concern comic book characters and 2) Many of them suck. In fact, they suck so much, they inspire us to make our own Top Tens. Here is mine: "The Top Ten Sexiest Women in the Marvel Universe."
Number 10: The Invisible Woman Before Sue Richards was the wielder of force fields and invisibility and mother of two, she was the beautiful model and actress, Susan Storm. Her sexuality has been played down in her early years. Originally, her charms convinced Reed to let Johnny be a part of the team, and assured that Ben Grimm, The Thing, stuck around after Reed turned him into an orange boulder. Look it up! It's all true! She has flirted with a relationship with Namor, the Sub-Mariner, and talked him into becoming not only an ally of the Fantastic Four, but of the second generation of superhero groups in the Marvel Universe. Her changing costumes have reflected her changes as a woman, and her growth as a character from completely covered, to revealing, as in the Infinity Wars. Honorable mentions in her same class of beauty include Crystal, Medusa, Vapor, and Roulette.

Number 9: Hepzibah Mam'selle Hepzibah, also known as Zee and Lady Kitten, struck a cord in me the first time I saw her in the Starjammers. She has been increasingly depicted as a feline rather than a skunk, contrary to her creation as a nod of homage to Miz Mam'selle Hepzibah from Walt Kelly's Pogo comic strip. She's always been shown as shapely, agile, and just fuzzy enough to keep you warm at night. Like all members of her race, she emits pheromones that can take a person into ecstasy and goes into a seasonal heat. Oh, and did I mention that she is an intergalactic pirate chick? I think she has secretly appealed to the dirty little furry in all of us fanboys and has spiced up Marvel writing for years. Honorable mentions of furry sexiness include Tygra, Deathbird, Nocturne, and Squirrel Girl.

Number 8: Thena Thena, borne Azura of the Eternals, was the successor of Zuras, Ruler of the Eternals of Earth, until she lost her position to Ikaris who challenged her because of her love of Kro, ruler of the Eternals' long time enemies, The Deviants. She was named to mirror Athena, as token of peace between the Eternals and Olympian Gods. For some reason, she has never really gotten her due in the Marvel Universe. She has the figure that I always wanted The Enchantress to have. She has the sweetness and compassion to actually fall in love with her enemy. Oh, and she is a super-stacked smoking hot blonde that loves to wear shiny golden body suits. Honorable mentions of goddess gorgeousness include the Enchantress, Sersi, and Power Princess.

Number 7: She-Hulk Jennifer Walters is a lawyer that lost a case for the mob and needed an emergency blood transfusion to live. The only person that could save her was her travelling cousin, Bruce Banner, who was running from the law because of The Hulk. This is also the reason she became the emerald goddess and powerhouse, The Sensational She-Hulk! Just as her cousin's physique goes above and beyond that of the perfect man, so does her form for women. The only reason she was limited to 7 was the fact that her bulk has changed over the years depending on artists and story-arcs. Her best depictions can be seen in her second volume of comic, The Sensational She-Hulk. Honourable with her charms include Jarrella, Gamora, Nebula, and Lyra, her alternate reality niece.

Number 6: Spider-Woman Jessica Drew obtained her powers in a mad gamble to save her life, that included putting her in suspended animation to aid in her recovery. She emerged with powers that make the original Spider-Man look like he was cheated. One of her powers that makes her so sexy is her pheromone power that can make both sexes deathly afraid of her, as well as extremely attracted. As Spider-Woman she wears a full body suit that hits her just right in all the right places. The patterns seem to showcase all of her curves and frame her lady lumps so well. In short pheromones plus skin-tight body suit equals donkey ride to Heaven. I always thought that Carol Danvers's costumes and curves would compliment Spider-Woman's well in activity. Honourable mentions in bodysuit beauty include Carol Danvers, Diamondback, the Black Panther (Shuri), Black Cat, and Hellcat.

Number 5: Madelyn Pryor A lot of you fellow fanboys are going to be upset and wonder why I chose Madelyn over the much more famous and classically lusted after original. I defend my action by saying that in my opinion, Madelyn Pryor was way sexier than the Jean Grey. She had attitude and an edge from her resentment of always being compared and being used as a substitute for Jean Grey. Madelyn really came into her own as the Goblin Queen. She dresses the way Scott wishes Jean would have, and brings back memories of Jean Grey as the Black Queen (ahhh...). Maybe if Jean did dress like Madelyn, Cyclops wouldn't have had that affair with Emma Frost... Honourable mentions of redhead sensuality include Rachel Grey, Mary Jane Watson, and Jean Grey (duh).

Number 4: Selene Gallio Also known as the Black Queen, and simply Selene, she was a mutant with potential immortality before her ascension into godhood. She has preyed upon mankind for well over 15,000 years as a "psychic vampire" As most Inner Circle ladies, she is sexy, lusty, and not afraid to show it in her attitude, dress, and actions. To tell you the truth, I was considering putting Emma Frost, her White Queen counterpart, as tied for Number 4, but I would not be true to myself. I have always thought Selene was sexier than Emma Frost, despite the fact that I think most would say they like Emma Frost better...hey, my "Top Ten..." Honourable mentions in dominatrix appeal include Emma Frost, Umar, and Viper.

Number 3: Psylocke Psylocke is the twin sister of Captain Britain, and a mutant telepath. She was already a beautiful character when artist Jim Lee transformed her into an Asian assassin for The Hand in a sleek and revealing purple body suit, that matched her beautiful purple hair. Over the years her powers have changed, but she is still basically that sexy minx of an assassin that Jim Lee made her to be. Many of the reasons I like her are the same reasons that I like Selene, except she also kicks ass! At one time she could break your mind and your body at the same time. Imagine those powers used in the telepath...reading your fantasies...damn...Well, she has telekinesis instead now, but that can be useful as well. Honourable mentions of kickass beauties include Elektra, the Black Widow(Natalia Romanova), Mystique, Madam Hydra, and the Silver Sable.

Number 2: Opal Luna Saturnyne Opal Luna Saturnyne was the Majestrix of Earth's Omniverse. She was also one of many aspects of such people known as Courtney Ross, a wealthy business woman, and Sat-Yr-9, a would be conqueror from al alternate Earth that the Nazi's won WWII. Most of her aspects are just as fine as her and identical. Sat-Yr-9 is just as nasty and sexy as you expect her to be; in fact she kills Courtney Ross, dresses like her, and then goes downstairs to have sex with her date and former boyfriend, Captain Britain, downstairs. Tall, voluptuous, platinum blonde, and with a dimensional domain on a cosmic level, she almost made it to Number 1 in this Top Ten. Honourable mentions in cosmic beauty and blonde dominion include Megan, Roma, Kismet, and Shana the She-Devil.

Number 1: Storm Storm is sexy. 'SEXY. She has transformed herself to reflect her different aspects from being a thief, a goddess, a mutant, a human, a Morlock, an X-Man, and a wife. Part of her mutant power is that she has all of the rarest traits from all of the races on Earth, from her perfect complexion and skin colour, her blue and sometimes cat-slit eyes, and her long flowing alabaster hair. She is regal and majestic. Her body is full and supple. Her powers make her a force of nature...literally. Her weather control powers make her one with nature and give her a physical and psionic rapport with Earth. She enjoys her nudity and is not ashamed to share it. How could she not get the top slot? Honourable mentions in majestic beauty and power include Zaladane, Poloaris, and the Scarlet Witch.

You don't agree? Then do something about it! Comment! Share your list! We'd love to hear about it! In fact, share this and any other article on our site with your friends and discuss them, and come back and comment. We love the feedback and conversation!
By: Jason O. N. Roberts aka HERETICPRIME of Otaku no Baka

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